ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
