white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize