Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
