i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
the raccoons are back...
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