he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
