his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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