We're facebook friends in real life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize