Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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