I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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