Plan B is the new Plan A
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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