you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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