we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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