My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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