a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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