you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize