Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
