We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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