Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
