Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
