i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
