New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
