There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
