how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
