he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
