so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
