Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize