Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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