Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
