Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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