Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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