So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
