This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
