I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
