I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I didn't shave. On purpose
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
