Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
