I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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