It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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