The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Congratulations! We have a period
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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