I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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