Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
