You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
