He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
