I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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