dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
