it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
