in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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