I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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