Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
