went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
