Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
