check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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