Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
