oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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