So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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