I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
