They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
