I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
