Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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