why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
