What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
