just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
