How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
