I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it's like iHOP with fire
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So here I am, sexting at work.
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