You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
