I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize