HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
