Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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