no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
