Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
