If i come over, it means nothing
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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