True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
