I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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