Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
