I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
