Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
