she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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