She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
