the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize