We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What a dumb baby whore.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
