i just google imaged poop.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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