you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
