and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
